Reality & Nuance

I once read the memoir of a German gal who had attended one of the Nazis' elite highschools.  I'll never forget her writing that especially one of the female teachers was her favorite and left a lasting impression on her bec. of the woman's idealism.

Idealism?  Among Nazis?  Doesn't fit the stereotype, does it?  Well, neither did my former chairwoman.  Born in 1920, Frau M. during the 40's had been in the upper echelon of the BDM administration ("Bund Deutscher Maedel," which was roughly equivalent to the German Girlscouts, except that it was more like the female version of the Hitler Youth, bec. the Brown Shirts used it to propagandize German girls).  Based on that, you'd have expected her to be a tyrant who brooked no opposition.

But she was quite the opposite, much to my surprise.  I found it out this way:  when I started working in that place where she was my chair, the recently implemented "New Pedagogy" was vague, such that I felt on some points I needed clarification.  I couldn't get it from my new colleagues, bec. they didn't have a clue, either.  So, I visited Frau M's office.  She was cool and brushed me off with a somewhat intimidating manner (NOBODY amongst the "underlings"----the instructors-----liked her; everybody was scared stiff of her).  I was miffed at not being able to do my job up to snuff.

Limped along that way for about another week until I couldn't stand it anymore.  Returned to her office, determined this time to do business.  She once again tried the same tactic.  I wouldn't budge.  "Frau M., I need to get a straight answer on this so that I can do my job with integrity and a good conscience.  I am not leaving this office until you help me."  

Now, mind you, though as a Choleric I'm by nature "assertive," I was also reared on Prussian Pedagogy which taught that opposing your elders was The Unpardonable Sin.  So, I expected the Wrath of God from her (especially since, as a novice there, I was still on the standard 3 months probation imposed on all new employees).  Instead, I just about lost my jaw when, eyes twinkling, she smiled and gestured for me to sit down.

I was the only employee there at that time who had jumped thru her fire hoop and garnered her respect.  (Later, in 2000, 10 years after I retired from there,  when I was in conversation with her at her house, I mentioned that I would have liked to become her successor upon her retirement [had health not interfered], at which pt. she emphatically exclaimed, "Ja!  YOU were most definitely leadership material!")

So, evidently, that firehoop was her way of testing out who was potential supervisor and chairman material.  From that time on, our rapport was cordial, and I enthusiastically commended her to the colleagues I chatted with.  "All you need to do is not let her intimidate you.  Then she'll accept you!" 

But none of them believed me.